do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
