Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
