Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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