So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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