Do you still have your period?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
