haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
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And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
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I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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