No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
