She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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