I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
