Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The best revenge is premature balding
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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