Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
