dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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