They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
