I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
