Non-Jews are for practice
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
