hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
