at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
