The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
