The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
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Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
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I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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