I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
