it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
