Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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