you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
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As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
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Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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