He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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