ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
