I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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