You can't motorboat a personality
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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