He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
