Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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