he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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