I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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