well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
