I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
