Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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