You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
