I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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