What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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