Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
