I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
