Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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