Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
