So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize