first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
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Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Be still, my beating vagina.
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She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
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