Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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