This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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