why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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