i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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