I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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