you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
