that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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