Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
