ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Me too!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
