I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize