Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just want nice things and good sex
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
