he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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