Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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