he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
