am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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