i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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