just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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