How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
